YEAR CHANGES. The Kali Burnett (Lauren Suickard) cattle ranch is now also a successful winery. This tells us that fate had a hand in the development of the plot, as it was called “Cabernet”. (Is this a deliberate joke? I said yes.) And her boyfriend Joseph (Josh Sicard) is her new “ranch manager”. Which tells us he helps her on the ranch if you see what I mean. Please take a picture of a shirtless Joseph pulling a big pile of hay because it’s hot work. HOT. Five minutes into the film, he buckles up, gets down on his knees and proposes. And honestly, five minutes is a very long time in a film like this. He says yes, and who can blame him because Joseph is a soggy piece of banana bread.
One complication arises with Joseph’s old life in the city:
You asked him to wear a white jacket over a light blue hood and white slacks. Italian shoes and no socks (was that a joke too? I said yes) and helicopters to keep the family business VA Enterprises, it was an estate conglomerate with Megabucks. Which so far may have made 100,000 US blocks.
Kali went with him, and when they landed, he took the keys to the Ferrari and drove it through San Francisco. Which I don’t think makes any sense because that Ferrari isn’t an F-150, and hills, hills, so many hills too, but hey, this is a fantasy movie, right? Kali leaves his cattle and wine business in the hands of his friend Brandi (Raquel Dominguez) and stupid guard Manny (David Del Rio). Who you know will roll in the hay. You can feel the s*xy suspense and follow Kali’s little sister, Hannah (Natalia) man).
After landing the Ferrari, Cali learns, thrust into high-ranking Falutin city life.
That Joseph is a brother from the San Franco community, who has sometimes been through babies more than once. And that somehow he won’t leave because of the hotel they live in, very naughty. And the rock in their finger could feed every Ecuadorian, and that may have changed too.
So there’s some fishy feeling out of the water that gets a little mashed up. When do they decide to get married after three weeks on Christmas Eve? Which reminds us: Hey, isn’t that a Christmas movie? It doesn’t look like a Christmas movie because there’s no snow, no Christmas carols, no shopping, no cakes being baked. And you can barely see the wrapping paper rolls in the background. But there’s a lively Christmas scene in the soup kitchen. Which depicts a ridiculous plot of how Kali is a deep person.
However, the Virgin Mary and her sick donkey gave Kali something to do:
Because Joseph was overwhelmed with direct debits, loans and the like at VA Enterprises, which was run by Joseph’s ex, who was trying to make a wedge between our fearless couple. So the love between them is good until that happens, and if not, even the fond memories of customizing the wedding dress can’t save it. Meanwhile, Hannah falls on the ranch and is injured and unable to reach her sister. Manny fantasizes about Brandi in a pair of Daisy Dukes in a humorous fashion until the soundtrack creates that effect on the FZWOOP record, and when she arrives, he nearly bumps into her. , on the other hand, saw him sinking to his shoulders in cow dung. We never know if the calf will make it in time for Christmas, but fear not, Kali and Joseph will solve their problems before Christmas Eve turns to ashes.
If California Christmas: City Lights premieres at Hallmark, it will come and go in the Christmas Movie TV Guide selection, and no one will blink. But it’s on Netflix and mingles on the menu with Paolo Sorrentino’s feature film and Sandra Bullock’s feigned unfunny drama, which gives us full permission to be evil: But I’ll abstain. “I don’t want this season to be an asshole all the time reading the Christmas cards I sent this year.
So even though the film barely bothers to put a modern Christmas gnome in the foreground;
And it’s more of a simple rom-com than a Christmas movie. It’s there to be something playing in the background while trying not to mess with this year’s cute doodles. It looks terrible, the dialogue is pathetic, the montage doesn’t get much power. It works on an emotional level at a mid-level. And it appears to be being worked on by a chimpanzee with an electric stapler. The characters are empty containers with fine hair. You’ll be drilling holes in the plot as if it were the knife, Ginsu, wrapped in tissue paper, jokes worth snapping, not laughs, and made entirely of clichés.
Damn, I’m just being mean. The film is good. Very good. He did his job. This is a programmer, a damn programmer. Nobody here will win an Oscar, see human existence in a new way, reach a new level of obscenity, or even be funny. Okay, I’ll stop now.