CHRISTMAS EVE. THE NORTH POLE. 2300 HOURS. Santa Claus (Caesar Zack) and Mrs Klaus (Monica) dances to “Beyond the Sea” while their elves rush back and forth, preparing for the great man’s big annual trip.
You’d think a royal couple could cool their happy legs and crush the fat on their elbows, but why worry when you’re doing hard labour? The gem among the elves is Albert (Jacob Rabbit), who has been an EOTY for several years in a row and is so popular that he has his action figure. He even manages to push the boss to a sacred gift on his sleigh every year.
Meanwhile, in the Polish Tatras:
Happy families cheerfully throw snowballs and sing Christmas carols, sit down to eat, and so on. The main characters in this plot are David (Cyprian Grabowski) and his parents, Piotrek (Michal Czernecki). A child in a male body, and Only (Anna Smolovik) has no striking features.
It’s their last country Christmas as mom and dad get new jobs. And are about to move to Poland’s vibrant cultural hub, Warsaw. As he walks past the majestic starry hill.
Papa points to a space in the sky and tells David to wave to the invisible Santa Claus on his invisible sleigh. And if you think he’s full of bullshit, yes, the invisible Albert and Santa Claus are not visible waves back. Though they are meaningless because they are invisible.
It’s funny that this movie had to start at Christmas because so many Christmas movies end with Christmas.
But don’t worry – the story jumps a year before the next Christmas season. To be more precise, a few days before Christmas. Albert’s Christmas spirit reaches its climax because.
As the most famous Elves in the Arctic with a real ego, he doesn’t like being invisible in the human world. So he went to Warsaw, where he was no longer seen for various reasons.
He wanted to visit the kid he waved at him a year ago and also wreak havoc by unleashing some of the elven magic that allows him to snap his fingers and turn nuts into drum kits, and so on.
The visit of the naughty sharp-eared boy is exactly what 11-year old David needs because he is bullied at school for being the new kid and his parents are overworked.
Hijin followed, although there was a bit of danger here because the longer Albert was away from the North Pole, the more his magic died down and the smaller it shrank, so tiny that he became a figure. Ready one two three: I HATE WHEN IT HAPPENED.
The script doesn’t help the cast much:
Generally soft. But Zajac often lets out an Elves-inspired laugh which is nothing. I doubt I’ll provoke controversy by saying Elves is a classic in a proper household. David and the Elves is an Elves only in its broad features.
This potential Polish entertainer features characters and jokes half-assed like a deformed baby Yoda Christmas hanging in your neighbour’s garden. The joke about Mrs Klaus trying to keep Claus away from the doughnuts and celery?
The joke over and over where Santa’s huge white beard keeps popping up on Piotrek’s face no matter how many times he splits the damn thing? Enthusiastic truck driver, tired of Albert’s trickery, Wilhelm – screaming face – in the pool? Dark stuff, man, gloomy.
I know. I’m evil. This film is just trying to be a carefree family dinner for the magic of Christmas and the incredible joy of childhood and the importance of BELIEVE in bullshit. But it’s overkill, the same old stuff, a loose collection of dull moments, too many of which seem excessive.
Cut this 106-minute film alongside the main action scenes, and you’ll get an hour-long TV special, including commercial breaks. I would forgive the film for twisting if it were funny and touching, but David and the Elves settle for being mediocre as store-bought legs.