Now on Paramount+ after a fast-running cinema, Queenpins is a hilarious comedy BOATS Based on a true story. You should know this acronym by now, pals. Comedy with Kristen Bell as the world’s biggest party cheat – it happens when you find it’s natural to your niche, I think.
Sounds like a new idea for some BOATsy laughs? And adding Kirby Howell-Baptis (Bell star Veronica Mars), Paul Walter Hauser, and Vince Vaughn to the equation sounds like a recipe for fun. Let’s find out.
Connie (Bell) is sleeping with angelic dreams:
When the FBI arrives and arrests her. But the story doesn’t start here. Oh no. We really have to go back to the beginning, where Connie introduces us in an angry voice: She is a bubbly and cheerful woman, an Olympic walking champion and is now “enjoying” her life as a housewife with a vague desire to “enjoy” life. Cutting dirt from coupons.
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Her abusive husband’s IRS auditor, Rick (Joel McHale), travels a lot for work. They piled up enormous bills for fertility clinics with heartbreaking results. The nursery is not full of children’s singing and screaming, but the stuff they buy at a significant discount.
“I don’t spend money, I save money,” Rick argues as he examines a dozen bottles of branded laundry detergent. Anchor racks full of branded pairs, maxi pads, and the like. The room really looks like a survival bunker or mini bodega.
We saw Connie at a hot front-front party.
He watched her for a newspaper delivery and exchanged TP. And other items for a large pile of flyers with coupons. He cuts the party like a flip pro. He annoys the cashier and several people behind him at the grocery store by handing out. A bunch of coupons that reduce all bills from $138.55 to $16.45.
He opened a box of cereal with a name on it. And it expired, so he turned down the unpleasant letter of complaint and moments later he opened the post office. And his eyes are really widened at the sight of the free cereal coupon. You might think it was the Ark of the Covenant. He can be crazy.
Connie’s neighbour is JoJo (Howell-Baptiste), a surprising businessman who wants to make a difference on social media. He lives with his mother (Greta Oglesby), whom JoJo describes as “a saleswoman who doesn’t make sales”. Meanwhile, Connie had slipped into a massive pile of free products in the form of letters, manufacturer coupons.
Which were the Holy Grail for their type, worth tens of dollars.
It occurred to him how it would happen to someone else to go to a coupon-making factory in Mexico and get disgruntled workers to regularly steal coupon boxes from him. So he could sell and have coupons online for a fraction of their value, a JoJo helped promote sales and business management.
Then saw his Paypal account raise hundreds of thousands of dollars. The previous sentence is a montage stating that Connie and JoeJo are officially cute savings brothers, BOGO friends, mail moms, royal discounts, and probably don’t need to be defended.
Then we meet Ken (Hauser), the loss prevention specialist at the grocery chain where Connie shops. He might spot a fake 150-step coupon and would calmly refuse a $2 off discount for an old lady and a lifetime customer if he accidentally tried to scam them. Ken takes a breather at a party and calls the FBI, which intrigues him with a collective view of being stupid and pedant and come on, it’s just a party.
It’s been six months, and I know because the subtitles are SIX MONTHS LATER, followed by a scene where JoJo says, “It’s been six months!” He and Connie had over $5 million and decided they had to wash it off.
Meanwhile, the FBI underground club releases a coupon file to the U.S. Postal Service because Connie and JoeJo have been guilty of postal fraud all along, essentially paying out massive millions in sales. So Ken and USPIS Agent Simon Kilmery (Vaughn) have joined forces to put an end to this less-obtrusive venture. Unfocused and rarely humorous, Queenpins doesn’t make much of a premise with potential.